Don’t never trust a tramp sez he cain’t cook. A tramp is the best cook there is. A tramp’ll take anythin’ worth eatin’ an’ make a stew out of it. Beans, spuds, gizzards, onions, any goddamn thing. Cook it right, an’ ya kin make somethin’ don’t taste half bad.

One time I cooked up a panfull a grasshoppers. There was this field out back a the jungle, crawlin’ with them things. Didn’t take more ‘n fifteen minutes to catch a hatful of ‘em. Got mebbe ten er so, an’ cut their heads an’ legs off. Didn’t want them spikey lookin’ legs stickin’ in my throat. Fried ‘em up in a pan. Them things ain’t bad if yer hungry enough. Gotta salt ‘em down good. That’s somethin’ I always carry, salt. Salt, pepper, an’ tabaccer, three things I won’t be without. Pepper’ll help a stew, give it some fire. An’ tabaccer’ll help carry ya through times when ya ain’t got nothin’ to eat.

67.